Healing
by Traci
Summary: Post-Release. Monica must come to terms with Brad's actions regarding John and Luke.


Disclaimer: I don't wanna write one!!! Nu-uh...not gonna do it!!!  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Category: DRR  
  
Spoilers: Release - for my purposes they release Luke's ashes off the shore somewhere on Long Island, NY since that was where they had lived.  
  
Author's notes: For some bizarre reason I wasn't happy writing just one post-Release story sigh... such a good DRR ep and such a shame that thanks to fans who were unwilling to give Doggett and Reyes a chance we will never get anymore eps like it!!!!!! Huh - guess I'm still harboring hard feelings.... oh well. Hmmm...I was in denial, now I've progressed to anger... how many more stages till I accept the end of the XF?????  
  
Feedback framed at traci_ann@yahoo.com  
  
  
  
Healing  
  
  
  
"Are you ready to go home?" Monica Reyes hesitantly pulled away from her partner, John Doggett. As soon as she was out of his embrace she wanted to hold him again but pulled out the keys to her SUV instead.  
  
John's eyes followed her every move, observing the woman who had stood by his side through all the ups and downs for nine years. "I guess so."  
  
She turned to walk around the car but his hand on her wrist stopped her. When she turned to face him, he pulled her to him once again. "Thank you, Monica. Thank you for always being here," he whispered then slowly released her.  
  
Monica swallowed hard and stared at him while he climbed into the passenger seat. Taking a deep breath and wiping away a tear, she, too, climbed in and headed for home.  
  
They had driven along the Long Island Expressway mostly in silence with John giving her directions when needed. The sky had melted into a mixture of orange and pink and the air had become cool and crisp. Crossing the Verrezano Bridge, Monica had just pulled onto the New Jersey Turnpike when her cell phone rang. She passed a glance to John.  
  
"You'd better get it."  
  
She cautiously pulled off on the shoulder and picked up the phone. "Reyes." Her eyes grew wide. "I can't believe you would call me!" she hissed.  
  
'Who is it?' John mouthed to her.  
  
'Brad,' was her response. She cringed inside at the hatred and anger she saw flash across his eyes. "No," she answered to the phone. "I won't." She listened once again. "Alright," she sighed. "Tomorrow."  
  
Monica hung up and, without a word, pulled back onto the turnpike only to pull off again at the nearest rest area.  
  
John waited until she turned off the car then asked, "Are you alright?"  
  
"He wants to see me."  
  
He hesitated before asking, "Are you going to go?"  
  
She shrugged, still staring out the front windshield. "I don't know. I told him I would but..." She looked down when he took her hand.  
  
"Go."  
  
Her brown eyes locked into his blue ones.  
  
"I wasn't the only one who was hurt by this. You and Follmer... you have a past with him. There are questions you need answers to."  
  
"John, he was on the take from the guy who killed L..." She shook her head. "He wasn't the man I thought he was even back then."  
  
"Did you know that about him back then?" he asked.  
  
"No. Not until that night when I saw him take the money. I should have said something... I should have..."  
  
Wiping her tears, he said, "It wouldn't have brought Luke back even if you had said something. Monica, you loved him, no one can hold that against you."  
  
"Not even you?" she asked, he voice quivering.  
  
His eyes shot open wide. "You think I..?" Pulling her to him, he whispered, "I would, I could never blame you for any of that. Geez, Mon, if it weren't for meeting you back then I probably wouldn't be here right now. I can't tell you how many nights I looked at my gun and thought of ending it all." He pulled back to look at her. "You were the reason I didn't. I can't explain it, but it was because of you even back then that I held on."  
  
That only made her cry harder and it scared John. He had broken down in front of her numerous times but he could only recall less than a handful of occasions where she had let him see her cry so he held her close there in the rest stop parking lot. "It's going to be alright. We're here for each other and don't you ever forget that," he told her, placing a gentle kiss on her hair.  
  
*************  
  
The following morning Monica awoke in her bed to the smell of freshly brewed coffee. Yawning and stretching at the same time, she thought back to the previous day. John had taken over driving after her call from Brad and they pulled up to his house just before midnight. After assuring him she was awake enough to drive herself home, she did so. Suddenly she sat upright. If she went home alone then who was making coffee? Sliding her bathrobe on over her nightgown, she grabbed her gun and silently made her way to the kitchen.  
  
With gun raised and hands steady, she stopped short when John came around the corner carrying a mug of steaming coffee.  
  
Nearly spilling the hot liquid on him, he smiled. "Guess I should have let you know I was here, huh?"  
  
"John! I could have shot you," she admonished, lowering her weapon. Then a small smile spread across her lips. "Why are you here, anyway?"  
  
Brushing by her, he sat on her couch and placed the mug on a coaster. "I figured that maybe, well, you might want someone to go with you today."  
  
She joined him on the couch. "I think I'd better do this alone, John." She let out a little laugh. "You know, yesterday was supposed to be about you and your healing, not me." Pausing, she added, "I'm sorry."  
  
John placed his hand over hers on her lap. "You have nothing to be sorry about. You've always been there for me. When have I been there for you?"  
  
Her eyes met his. "John, how can you..."  
  
"No, really, Monica. When have I really been there when you needed someone? You're one of the strongest people I know so even if you seem a little upset I just brush it off knowing that you'll be able to deal with whatever it is. I want to change that. I want to be there for you just as you've been there for me. I want to be your anchor."  
  
With still sleepy eyes, she touched his forehead.  
  
"I'm serious, Mon."  
  
She smiled. "I know, I was just checking. It's not normal for anyone to have such a deep conversation at seven in the morning you know." Taking a sip of coffee, she yawned again. "I'd better get ready." She stopped in the doorway of her bedroom. "And thank you, John. I really didn't want to do this alone."  
  
He stared at the bedroom door long after she closed it. It was a small step but he promised himself he would repay her for every moment she had given him and more.  
  
************  
  
Monica sat down across from Brad and picked up the phone on her side of the glass.  
  
He smiled at her. "Thank you for coming, Monica."  
  
"What do you want, Brad?" The knowledge that John was waiting outside for her gave her the strength not to break down or go off on him.  
  
"I wanted to explain things. I wanted to apologize. I wanted..."  
  
"You don't have much time."  
  
His smile faded. "No, I don't. First and most importantly, I wanted you to know that what we had, everything I was when I was with you, was not an act. I loved you, Monica." Seeing she was fighting tears, he quickly continued. "I had no idea Rigalli was the one who killed Doggett's son. I had no idea he could have even been remotely involved. Had I known I never would have..."  
  
"Been on the take from him?" she hissed. "If it hadn't been him you would have found someone else."  
  
"You're right. But I am sorry."  
  
"Why did you kill him?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.  
  
"Because I knew John would if I didn't."  
  
"That still doesn't..."  
  
"I did it for you, Monica. I've seen the way you look at him... and the way he looks at you. I caused you more than enough pain in your life. I couldn't sit back and watch you lose the most important thing in your life. I couldn't watch you go through that. If he had done it... I just didn't want either one of you to go through that and heaven knows that bastard deserved to die."  
  
Taking a moment to compose herself and regain control of her voice, she took a deep breath. "You know there's nothing we can do for you."  
  
Brad nodded. "I know. This is probably better than what I deserve anyway. I just needed you to know my reasons. I wasn't looking for help or sympathy."  
  
Their eyes locked.  
  
"I just hope John isn't as stupid as I was. If he let's you get away..."  
  
"It's not like that with him, Brad and you know it."  
  
"Monica, don't deny yourself happiness. Life's too short for that. They don't care if you guys are involved. Actually they hope for it. They figure if you and John are too into each other then you won't find out the truth to the X-Files."  
  
"And what is the truth, Brad?"  
  
He shrugged. "I don't know. I really don't. If I did, I'd tell you."  
  
The guard came in and told them to finish up.  
  
"I never forgot you, Monica."  
  
She didn't respond. She couldn't. She wasn't sure what to say to him just then. She had fond memories of their time together but he had hurt her, he had betrayed her and, as it turned out, John as well.  
  
Brad hung up the phone and Monica watched as the guard escorted him back to the cells then she, too, left.  
  
***********  
  
She walked across the parking lot of the prison, her eyes focused on John. As he stood there watching her approach, her hurting heart began to heal. When he smiled at her from a distance she knew everything was going to be all right.  
  
"How'd it go?" he asked.  
  
Not trusting her voice, she merely shrugged then walked closer only to be enveloped in his warm embrace.  
  
They held each other tightly, even more so than on the beach the previous day. The healing process had begun.  
  
When he felt her pull away, he captured her face in his hands. "I know it's been a rough couple of days for both of us but, if you're up for it, I was thinking a night out complete with a nice restaurant is well deserved."  
  
"Thanks, but I think I'll have to take a rain check. I wouldn't be great company tonight for that I'm afraid."  
  
"I somehow thought you might say that so, what do you say we hang out on the Mall, laugh at tourists, grab a couple greasy who-knows-where-they've- been hotdogs and maybe even jump in a game of volleyball with some college kids... if they let us old folks that is."  
  
The way his eyes sparkled made it impossible for Monica to do anything but laugh and say anything but, "Yes."  
  
"Good." He led her around to the passenger's side and opened the door for her. "Cause I wasn't really looking forward to dressing up for a fancy dinner."  
  
Monica watched him walk around the truck once more and returned his smile as he took his place behind the wheel. Once they were out on the main road, Monica interlaced her fingers with his. She would fill him in on what Brad had said later but for now she was content with the knowledge that she and John would get through everything together.  
  
Le End 


End file.
